her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
