plz talk dirty to me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
