Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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