there was a trapeze. enough said
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
