im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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