I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
