I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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