I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
