Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
