Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
