im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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