we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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