does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
