and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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