awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
