My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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