I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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