Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
