he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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