Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
this will be a night to untag.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
