small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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