i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
