I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
