Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
