he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
