I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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