After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
