the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
