whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
