i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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