So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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