I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
