meet me or not, i'm out of control
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
