Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
only if we run a train.
done.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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