it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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