i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
