Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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