You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
