My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
