I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
