I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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