Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
