it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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