just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
