so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
