me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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