there was a trapeze. enough said
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
