good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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