U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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