Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
