Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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